A simplified guide to being a naturist (Take it off!)

One of the most common ways people find my blog through search engines is by asking these all-knowing programs how to be nudists. This is why I have decided to write this very simple guide which explains in detail how to do this.

A word of caution: some people are unnaturally and inexplicably freaked out by certain sights that your nudity can provide, so be sure to follow this guide in a location you deem secure. Also, I suggest you read this guide fully before following it step by step. This should give you a nice overview of what needs to be done so you can make sure you have everything you need, where you need it.

OK, so let’s begin.

Step 1: Take it off!

Are you wearing clothes? Take them off. This includes your shirts and trousers, socks and hats, mittens and earmuffs, togas and tunics, bathrobes, towels and slippers, gowns and suits, vestments and burquas, coats and jackets, T-shirts and shorts… And, of course, undershirts and underpants and bras and willy warmers. Take it all off! You can leave jewlery, but take them off too for best experience (I normally don’t consider wedding rings as jewlery, but that’s me). You can also leave on your sunglasses, and wrist bands, but really the best way to go is to wear only as much as a baby born half a second ago.

Step 2: Take it away!

Excellent, you are now naked, but you are not yet a nudist. This next step is a bit tricky. You’ll want to remain exactly as you were at the end of step 1. With that in mind, step away from the clothes you’ve piled up (or scattered around, whichever worked best for you). Go, for example, into the kitchen and pour yourself a glass of water, and drink it. Or, watch TV. No, don’t put a bathrobe on, or wrap a towel around yourself, just go as you are about any business you feel like going about.

Ta da! You’re now officially a nudist. There are, however, some pitfalls:

Pitfall #1: Cooking

Never cook nude. It’s a bad idea. If you don’t believe me, try it, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Pitfall #2: Sexual activity

If you want to practice nudism, then practice nudism. If you want to satiate some other desires, then … well … go ahead, I guess (assuming you don’t hurt anyone else in the process), but don’t call it nudism.

Pitfall #3: Taking a shower/bathing

No, taking a shower or bathing naked doesn’t make you a nudist. Unless we’re talking about pathological cases, everyone does these naked.

Pitfall #4: Exhibitionism

I did mention that you should do this in a location you deem secure, but if your idea of secure is public places then you can’t seek help in simplified guides. You probably need detailed protocols which I can’t provide.

That’s it! Hope you enjoy your nudie time, I know I am.

5 thoughts on “A simplified guide to being a naturist (Take it off!)

Add yours

    1. Yeah, well, I’ve learned the painful way that it’s a bad idea. Sure, you can make a sandwich naked, but when I say “cooking” I mean something that involves fire or at least intense heat, maybe some oil, or fat, or butter, or simply something hot which can be spilled. Like I said, don’t say I didn’t warn you. 🙂

      Like

      1. I also meant real cooking not just making sandwiches. I always cook naked and never had problems with spilling oil/fat.

        Like

  1. I do always cook naked too, no issues so far excepting for thing that can also happen when clothed, like cutting or touching the hot oil with your fingertips… one just got to be focused on what is being done. Just the same as when doing some home repairs and cut some metal and the sparks fly or things heat up.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: