The pros and cons of running naked

Back when I was still a beginning nudist, I often thought of things I can and can’t do in the nude. One of the things I put in the “can’t” category was running. I always thought that, well, things would start flapping around uncontrollably, if you know what I mean.

To my utter surprise several years later, when I ran naked for the first time out of sheer urgency rather than need, nothing flapped around. I didn’t realize it immediately (and I completely forgot why I simply had to run), but as I was slowing down, I realized that something was very odd. I expected something would happen, but it didn’t.

The thing is – and I can only speak for men here – when a naked person starts running – whether out of urgency or not – the penis simply shrinks to a very optimal size so that the fact that it is flapping is barely visible and cannot even be felt. This is in stark contrast to what I was expecting – something like hanging a plastic bag with – say – a beer bottle in it, onto a mechanical bull and switching it (the bull) on – something’s bound to go wrong at some point.

That said, I now don’t even care about running unless I can do it naked. Since I also like to go barefoot and I can’t really go running barefoot for a significantly increased risk of injury, I got myself a pair of Vibram Fivefinger Bikilas.

At the time of writing, my Bikilas were being soaked and about to be dumped into a washing machine.

Yeah, they’re pretty dirty now, but just wait until after I get these babies out of the washing machine. I’d photograph them clean, but you’d just think they’re brand new.

In any case, I’m at a serious advantage when it comes to running naked, because I basically have a track in my backyard (I’d invite other naked runners to join me, but there aren’t any in my area). It’s not a real running track, but it’s good enough, being 600 meters (656 yards) full circle. When the dark falls, I can run all night in the middle of the village I live in, wearing nothing but my bikilas.

But why would I do that? Well, besides the normal advantages of running, such as health and – in my case – keeping my blood pressure in check (though, I’ve noticed that when I run naked my blood pressure is even better than when I run clothed), there are many other advantages. So, here they are, the pros and all the cons (two and by a stretch) I can think of:

Pros:

• Everything that draws you to being naked in the first place, running or not.
• Your sweat really works for you – as it evaporates you really do feel cooler, whereas running clothed completely undermines the whole process.
• You don’t sweat as much when it’s colder, while it’s normal to sweat under your clothes, which then stick to your skin and you risk catching a cold as your sweat soaks your clothes in cold weather.
• Your shirt (or undershirt – I always hated those) doesn’t bleed your sweating nipples since you’re not wearing either.
• Your body hair doesn’t get stuck in the fabric (ouch!).
• Your clothes don’t chafe your thighs, underarms, or groin. Rubbing skin on skin doesn’t cause chafes as bad as skin on fabric on skin.
• Because there’s nothing interfering with your body’s natural mechanisms of maintaining body temperature, you’ll feel very comfortable while running (except for the normal discomforts of running, like fatigue) in a wide range of weather conditions.
• You don’t waste your money on high-tech fabrics whose makers and sellers claim they’re like second skin because of how well they “transfer moisture” and whatnot (that’s what my first skin is for, thank you very much).

Cons:

• There’s always the risk of being seen, laughed at and whatever. It would be no wonder if your shriveled genitalia (which are perfectly normal when running, but people who are ashamed of their bodies aren’t likely to know that) became the main laughing matter for some days.
• If you’re a woman, your breasts will shake wildly. I can’t tell how much of a problem that is, but apparently it is, so if you’re not shy to share, then do so in the comments.

I tried very hard to think of more cons, but I simply can’t. Running naked simply beats running clothed in every possible way.

So what are you waiting for? Strip down and get running!